Finally, the news is out! Yes world – my boyfriend and are are six weeks pregnant. What a beautiful gift!!!
So funny how I had been getting all of these messages about the “next level” (why I assumed I would know what that looks like it beyond me!) Of course, now it would be taking what I’ve learned, and integrating it into life as our newly formed little family.
Pregnancy and raising a kid is definitely another level:)
Preparing for the Next Level
I’ve been preparing for this for as long as I can remember. I initially started my self-discovery turned spiritual work when I was around 19, and I was drowning underneath a huge, heavy, ball of energetic and emotional crap. I felt swallowed by it – and it hit me even then…if I don’t do something about this shit, I will pass it right along to my future children.
I hit the point of no longer believing in love, and immediately put myself in therapy. Therapy led to Inner Visions, which led to the Medicine. I’ve been in intense training for this for a good ten years.
Of course, all the training in the world is only going to give me the understanding, strength level and ability to let go and ride the flow of the Universe. I am clear this child is not “mine”, nor my boyfriend’s.
No one can own a spirit. This is a child whom we mutually chose each other (like in Avatar choosing their big flying guys!) to offer a certain experience that only being who I am, and my boyfriend being his can offer.
Ready for the Unknown
I expect to have many plans that are released in the face of a new flow, and recognize that I can’t possibly understand what this will be like until I’m an actual parent.
But if there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that I do trust myself, and I trust the Divine to help me navigate this beautiful existence. If I’m missing something, they will show it to me. I’ve got a ton of help:)
So we will be moving in together only slightly prematurely, as we want to be settled and ready for our new little friend:) Luckily my brother will be renting his townhouse out then, so we’re good for a place to go we can afford, and this surely ups my game into my intention to move away from interpreting and more towards doing healing and writing work as my profession (from home:)
Anyway it’s a humbling WOW, and still hard for my brain to comprehend.
Our Own Pace
We are 30 years old, and how beautiful both sides of our families are nothing short of excited. We are not ready to get married yet, and no one is pushing us. It doesn’t bother anyone in the slightest that we are interracial. All they see is the beautiful gift coming into our newly extended family (on my side, the first grandchild, like I was!) This is love. This is what I wanted as a greeting for my child, even upon conception.
So it’s been fairly mild so far – no morning sickness, just some hormonal influxes and wanting to eat a lot (I also quit smoking, so extra food desire as well) but overall it’s been fairly tame. I decided that the quitting was not going to be a big, dramatic event, and I would make it as gentle as possible on my emotions and body, and therefore the baby. So far so good!
Size of a Lentil
The nose, mouth, and ears that you’ll spend so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape. If you could see into your uterus, you’d find an oversize head and dark spots where your baby’s eyes and nostrils are starting to form.
His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as yours — and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared.
His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil.
Will keep you posted along the way! Once I get a real baby bump I’ll give you pictures. Thank you God, Universe, Medicine, for healing, purging, strengthening, and teaching me in preparation for this beautiful journey!
Upping my level of staying in integrity, even when it may look funny, knowing that this child and I chose each other for a reason. Thank you for a beautiful, loving, supporting boyfriend and family to offer to this child as well.
Thank you for all my friends, long-term or short term, physical or virtual, who have supported me along the way. Thank you for all my teachers in all forms. Thank you for this sacred, sacred gift, and this ceremony of life we are preparing for. What a blessing.