On Tuesday, I decided to go get a shamanic reading for baby and some energy work done with Paul Sivert (the shamanic practitioner I have been working with in Maryland since 2006).
Even before the pregnancy, I was feeling a strong draw back to the Andean tradition and energy of the spirits I worked with pre-Ayahuasca (and being “sister” energies, they compliment quite well – the mountains and jungle/river spirits of Peru and surrounding areas.)
So I’ve been assisting in his Level One Course (Fundamentals of Shamanism) to refresh my memory.
Overwhelmed by Emotions
So before class, we planned to do some work. I needed some help. The energies and emotions were overwhelming to say the least. Be it “normal” or not, I’m going to grab help where I can. I was just dragging ass every day – nauseated, exhausted, hyper-emotional, and super sensitive to energies (where they were effecting me much more than normal.)
Getting to work every day was my grand accomplishment. My room has been a mess for two weeks (but I swear, I’m cleaning it after I finish this blog!)
All and all, I was nervous that my general emotional state was going to be “bad” for the baby, and anything I could do to take the edge off (healthily) sounded good. With no more alcohol, tobacco or firearms (oops, I meant caffeine) all of my go-to quick fix band-aids were no longer an option.
I swear next time, I’m going to be making money through sources that don’t require my presence. Nature did not intend for women to have to work a regular job during pregnancy (and I’m only working 20 hours a week!) It blows my mind that women everywhere have been surviving a nine to five at three months.
Shamanic Reading for Baby
Anyway, so here’s what I got at the reading! A lot of intuition validation as usual (which is why I like going to Paul – working with the Medicine has grown my intuition to the size of a cantaloupe (seriously, they showed me in ceremony!) and it’s quite clear.
Now, sometimes along with that clarity is my ego filtered in there (fear, doubt, judgment). So going to Paul just simply plucks the ‘chord’ that is intuition, to help me out in ignoring the other crap.
Baby is a Culmination and Celebration
So first thing – that this baby is a celebration; a gift of the work I’ve been doing over the last few years. A manifestation of personal and spiritual accomplishment:) Aww:)
I asked about the food (my biggest challenge). Remember I had also gotten that message during ceremony in August about being at “threshold” spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and now I must work on physically?
Well he said that the pregnancy will help me focus on my physical in a new way – creating a sensitivity and new relationship with my body, in order to strengthen it and prepare it for the long haul. For this work, he emphasized, my body must be able to go the distance. Same message I got before, this time with some help from the little one within!
How “bad” the eating was was exaggerated in my head, he elaborated. While I still have to work on my disciplines (weaker spot for me) and removing stressers, my body is quite adept and ready for this. Super strong and clear from Medicine work, this is a wave that will balance out.
And I got another intuitive message as he spoke about this whole thing – it’s like the concept of the caterpillar and the cocoon…”the strength the caterpillar musters in order to break out of the cocoon, is the same strength needed for him to fly.”
That getting a hold of these weak areas here, during pregnancy, will give me the strength needed to get my body physically up to long-haul par. Aligning my physical with my soul…that will feel good!
Internal “Contraction” Period
He also talked about a period of “contraction”, where I’d be going inward and somewhat “off radar” as I call it. Already started. While I am blogging, I’m on Facebook less often, emails have slowed to every other day or so, and I can’t even take on any ounce of process work calls.
Lines right up with my newfound understanding that the world would go on without me, lol. So I’ve been fairly MIA lately, and assume that’s how this will look for awhile as my desire to “nest” and create a protected environment for my inner child (haha) persists.
Contraction Applied to Life
My friend Tamrin sent me a link to a lecture by a biologist named Bruce Lipton called Nature, Nurture, and the Power of Love: Conscious Parenting. It’s a two hour lecture (I’m through the first hour) but it’s quite interesting how a lot of the biology lines up with what I have learned in ceremony about energy and how it works (love when science validates spiritual messages!)
The reason I brought this up is he was talking about how the cells or something (it’s been a week so I don’t remember the ins and outs, plus another phenomenon is that I’m a space cadet half the time during this phase, so don’t expect any genius ideas out of me any time soon. Or moreover, don’t expect me to remember shit unless it’s written down…space-head I swear, it reminds me of my pothead days sometimes…)
Anyway so the cells (or the proteins? I’ll watch it again) basically have two choices…to move towards a state of growth or protection. Growth expands, protection contracts. There are appropriate times for both (like contracting during pregnancy) but there are also times when a mental construct overrides the body to put the person in an irrational state of fear, hence protection, hence, contraction.
Some people live the majority of their lives in contraction. And while some may not experience the actual “anxiety fear”, there are other ways to contract or slow down (mine tend towards procrastination, overwhelm, side-sliding around, talking about but taking forever to do.) Funny how they show up.
Anyway so I just found it interesting to match up the biology with something I had experienced energetically, and now applied to a new level of training with child. I am in somewhat of a weakened state at the moment (for good reason) and I feel the act of moving gently past some of my defaults in order to attain balance here, will be the same strength needed to fly:)
Is it a Girl?
And side note: while we’re open either way, we think it’s a girl. My boyfriend had a dream during conception week of us walking with an older girl that could have been our daughter, and every time I have dreams, etc, there’s always an older girl with a younger boy. Plus my dentist thinks it’s a girl, so it must be true;)
~ Meghan Shannon Elder (@beyond_meghan)
Ayahuasca Preparation and Integration Specialist at Beyond the Ceremony
Accelerated Spiritual Development Coach at Beyond the Whirlwind
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